My darkest Truth

I could only describe it as a chasm that kept growing,

A monster that never got fed,

A hollow hole that had no end,


I couldn’t shake it,

The fear that crippled me,

The constant taunting of my own soul



I cried for it to stop,

But the feeling grew stronger,

My deepest fear stood before me

Without blinking,

It started at me,

As if it knew me


I tried to look away,

But I couldn’t

It looked too familiar,

Like a distant person I once knew


Could this be an attempt to save my soul?


Without hesitation I ran to it,

Ran to the fear that stood before me,

I wanted to embrace it,

Desired to know it,

Perhaps then,

The feeling would subside


I held out my hand to touch it,

But then retreated.


I was in the middle of my stride when I woke up.


You see, even in my dreams,

I was too afraid to face the truth.


Aisha-Nicole 2016

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A Short Story.

It happened over night.


I was standing by the kitchen table, waiting for the sound of a diesel truck to pull into the driveway.


The kettle whistled as I made my way to pour my tea. I couldn’t remember the last time I was this excited to meet him. We had worked out our differences over the holiday, and as the snow trickled down, I couldn’t help but feel at peace.


He was the love of my life and even though we had hit a rough patch, I was more than ready to work at our relationship again.


Tick, Tock, Tick Tock.


I checked the outlines of my figure before making my way to the door. I had worn his favorite perfume and made sure to avoid all lipstick. Lyman was a simple man; no fuss and he always said a rose didn’t need additional help to stand out.


I grabbed the doorknob, opened the door and out of the shadows a man stepped to the light.


“Ma’am, there’s been an accident.”


The officer spoke but everything around me became so quiet. It was as if the world stood still, and there I was alone, fumbling in the dark.


After the tears stopped, I opened my eyes and the officer was still there.


“Would you like some tea?”


“No, I’ll be alright”


Officer Pete kept talking but all I could think about was Lyman’s diesel truck.


To be honest, I hated that truck. Lyman was a stubborn man and one evening he showed up with his brand new purchase, with no thought of inquiring of my opinion. We had fought that night and I remember how tired I was when I eventually fell asleep.


He was gone now and that fight seemed so trivial.


“Ma’am will you be alright.”


“No”, I said and sipped my tea.


I woke up at 3 am with Lyman looking over me.”

You had a bad dream Teresa, Sorry I woke you.


“You died,” I whispered.


“I almost did”.


It was the strangest moment, but that same feeling of peace overwhelmed me.


Lyman went ahead to tell me how the truck had hit a rough patch of ice and how he had  barely survived.


The truck would be totaled but an officer had given him a ride home.


I never believed in God until this moment, but he had given Lyman and I another chance.


We all have diesel trucks in our relationships, and that night, I tasted of the horror of remembering how insignificant things are in the wake of sudden loss.


Aisha-Nicole 2016

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#93: A Game of Charades

I could hear him crying in the bathroom,

It was the third time this week,

And as much as he tried to lie,

He was just as broken as the rest of us,


He was the master of charades,

Every smile he ever wore was a front,

A constant effort to be strong,

To have it all together,


He stifled his cries,

But I could feel the vibrating pulses of a broken soul,

The door opened,

And I saw his silhouette,


Against the back drop of the bathroom light,

I saw him smile again,

It didn’t take him to long,

To return to his game of charades


© Aisha-Nicole 2016

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#92: It’s True

It’s true,

Sometimes I write about you,

Like therapy to an addict,

I’m trying to rid myself of you,

Yeah, it’s true

Sometimes I wish I had never met you,

But with every word and every line,

I will no longer be affected you.


© Aisha-Nicole 2016

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#91: Kiss Me,

Kiss me slowly,

Kiss me deliberately,

Kiss me like the time your parents caught us,

Kiss me before the walls start telling our secrets,

Kiss me like New Year’s Eve when the clock struck 12

And we thought we had eternity,

Kiss me like the day you got accepted into Law School,

Kiss me like I haven’t told you the worse news of your life,

Because when you let go of my finger tips,

And you walk out those hospital doors

And you finally loose it,

Because we’re just two humans trying to be strong for one another,

And you eventually drive cross country,

And sad songs are your only company,

I want you to remember the kisses and not the sorrow,

So let’s not waste anymore time,

Pretending that this wont be our last time,

Just kiss me,

And this time,

kiss me slowly.


© Aisha-Nicole 2015

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#90 Sweet Lies–

I didn’t have to look hard-

I just followed honey laced lies,

Watched closely as your lips dripped with sweet stories

You were good at this,

Weaving intricate lies

Accounting for every detail

Pronouncing every syllable

Speaking so eloquently,

You were a one man show

But lies are like honey-

Leaving trails of sticky residue

You became messy

Monologues of last nights whereabouts began to stick

Thursday’s events trailed into Monday’s itinerary

And no longer could you simply depend on your memory,

So I waited-

Followed your trail back to the beehive,

And sure enough you had been busy,

Bees never lie

And that night baby,

I discovered where you hide.

© Aisha-Nicole 2015

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#89: Dying Alone

“I cried when I realized he had lived his whole life a complete lie.”

© Aisha- Nicole 2015

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#88: Love Manifest

He smiled,
Even though he had lost everything,
He laughed,
Even though his heart was hurting,
He gave,
Even though they had Stolen his living,
And he forgave,
Even though they would never ask for forgiveness,
He was who I strived to be,
love made manifest to me


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#87: Leftovers

I gave you my heart,

All of what was left of it,

I should have known better,

For now it’s worse,

Than what I started with

© Aisha-Nicole 2015

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#86: Sharp Tongues,

Sharp Tongues,

Today I saw a man die,

I saw words cut through his flesh,

I saw blood poured out,

As words infected blood lines,

And I watched closely,

As those called family,

Derailed his identity carelessly,

“sticks and bones they said”

I remembered the schoolyard rhyme

“but words will never hurt me”

 I wish those school yard kids,

 could see what I see

As I painfully stood witness,

To a man die slowly,

As sharp tongues with no remorse,

Willfully cut him deeply.

©Aisha-Nicole 2015

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