It happened over night.
I was standing by the kitchen table, waiting for the sound of a diesel truck to pull into the driveway.
The kettle whistled as I made my way to pour my tea. I couldn’t remember the last time I was this excited to meet him. We had worked out our differences over the holiday, and as the snow trickled down, I couldn’t help but feel at peace.
He was the love of my life and even though we had hit a rough patch, I was more than ready to work at our relationship again.
Tick, Tock, Tick Tock.
I checked the outlines of my figure before making my way to the door. I had worn his favorite perfume and made sure to avoid all lipstick. Lyman was a simple man; no fuss and he always said a rose didn’t need additional help to stand out.
I grabbed the doorknob, opened the door and out of the shadows a man stepped to the light.
“Ma’am, there’s been an accident.”
The officer spoke but everything around me became so quiet. It was as if the world stood still, and there I was alone, fumbling in the dark.
After the tears stopped, I opened my eyes and the officer was still there.
“Would you like some tea?”
“No, I’ll be alright”
Officer Pete kept talking but all I could think about was Lyman’s diesel truck.
To be honest, I hated that truck. Lyman was a stubborn man and one evening he showed up with his brand new purchase, with no thought of inquiring of my opinion. We had fought that night and I remember how tired I was when I eventually fell asleep.
He was gone now and that fight seemed so trivial.
“Ma’am will you be alright.”
“No”, I said and sipped my tea.
I woke up at 3 am with Lyman looking over me.”
You had a bad dream Teresa, Sorry I woke you.
“You died,” I whispered.
“I almost did”.
It was the strangest moment, but that same feeling of peace overwhelmed me.
Lyman went ahead to tell me how the truck had hit a rough patch of ice and how he had barely survived.
The truck would be totaled but an officer had given him a ride home.
I never believed in God until this moment, but he had given Lyman and I another chance.
We all have diesel trucks in our relationships, and that night, I tasted of the horror of remembering how insignificant things are in the wake of sudden loss.