Category Archives: Life

My darkest Truth

I could only describe it as a chasm that kept growing,

A monster that never got fed,

A hollow hole that had no end,

 

I couldn’t shake it,

The fear that crippled me,

The constant taunting of my own soul

 

 

I cried for it to stop,

But the feeling grew stronger,

My deepest fear stood before me

Without blinking,

It started at me,

As if it knew me

 

I tried to look away,

But I couldn’t

It looked too familiar,

Like a distant person I once knew

 

Could this be an attempt to save my soul?

 

Without hesitation I ran to it,

Ran to the fear that stood before me,

I wanted to embrace it,

Desired to know it,

Perhaps then,

The feeling would subside

 

I held out my hand to touch it,

But then retreated.

 

I was in the middle of my stride when I woke up.

 

You see, even in my dreams,

I was too afraid to face the truth.

 

Aisha-Nicole 2016

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#92: It’s True

It’s true,

Sometimes I write about you,

Like therapy to an addict,

I’m trying to rid myself of you,

Yeah, it’s true

Sometimes I wish I had never met you,

But with every word and every line,

I will no longer be affected you.

 

© Aisha-Nicole 2016

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#91: Kiss Me,

Kiss me slowly,

Kiss me deliberately,

Kiss me like the time your parents caught us,

Kiss me before the walls start telling our secrets,

Kiss me like New Year’s Eve when the clock struck 12

And we thought we had eternity,

Kiss me like the day you got accepted into Law School,

Kiss me like I haven’t told you the worse news of your life,

Because when you let go of my finger tips,

And you walk out those hospital doors

And you finally loose it,

Because we’re just two humans trying to be strong for one another,

And you eventually drive cross country,

And sad songs are your only company,

I want you to remember the kisses and not the sorrow,

So let’s not waste anymore time,

Pretending that this wont be our last time,

Just kiss me,

And this time,

kiss me slowly.

 

© Aisha-Nicole 2015

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The Road to 25…

  1. I need Jesus, I can’t do this on my own
  2. Not everyone will like you, no matter how nice you are.
  3. Repeated mistakes are the result of having no intention to stop them the first time
  4. Making time to work out is a work out
  5. Bills will come. Even if you try to ignore them
  6. ‘Unknown’ is code for bill collectors
  7. Saving isn’t a cute game, it’s critical
  8. You can’t say yes to everything
  9. It’s good to be honest
  10. Love doesn’t hurt, its people who do
  11. I need to work on my anger
  12. Family will always have your back, no matter how much you fight
  13. Stop and smell the roses, someone died last night
  14. It’s ok to say I’m broke.
  15. You don’t need lots of friends, just a core group.
  16. Make the most of family visits
  17. Do as much laundry when you visit home
  18. Don’t keep grudges, they give you ulcers
  19. Don’t jump to conclusions
  20. I’m still growing and that’s ok
  21. Don’t compare your life to others (repeat 7x a day)
  22. It’s ok to say I need help
  23. Keep insurance card IN the car
  24. Always leave early—that’s the day a funeral procession is on the road and you may be late for your interview.
  25. Every day gets better!

natural hair, twa, poetry

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#63: I would

I would fight for you

lie for you

climb Mountains for you

What I won’t do

Is sell my soul for you

©Aisha-Nicole 2014

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#62: My Retreat

I hid in your arms

 

Waited for your hands to cradle me

Your fingers to sooth me

 

But that was asking too much

 

Our arrangement hinged on no emotional responsibilities

And I had already signed the release forms

So I retreated to my space

 

Waited for the morning

And sadly never came back

 

©Aisha-Nicole 2014

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#61: Africa, Oh Africa

She wore her traditions like royal garments,

 

Cloaked in her father’s history and her mother’s suffering,

She was the byproduct of their affair gone wrong,

She spoke like her father but moved like her mother,

Adorned with deep lines of many tribes,

She smelled like her ancestors,

And In her voice you heard tales of love and war-

 

In her bosom,

 

Lay the heartbreak of brothers and sisters,

The bloodshed of boys and men,

Neighbors who forgot what they were fighting for,

Surrounded by Violence and brutality,

She was homeless in her own home,

 

Trying to regain her foot in society,

She hoped that the future would end all inequality,

She longed for barefoot dances,

United drum beats in city centers,

Laughter that outstretched poverty,

And she dreamed of days were love was the only exchange,

 

In a war cry,

With a chorus sung so beautifully,

She sang of the country she used to know,

 

“Africa, oh Africa,

This too shall pass,

The horizon is coming,

And this too shall pass”

 

©Aisha-Nicole 2014

 

 

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#59: Endless Counterfeits

She spoke of love as if it had died,

 

Swaying her hips to cocktail drips,

She was rich in sorrow,

Offering everything she had,

I watched as she married and remarried,

The idea of finding herself,

 

She walked the streets with no map,

Pointing out every corner and every junction that had stolen from her,

Her breath still smelled of her last lover,

Tormented her eyes fought to conceal the pain of a young girl,

But her pain echoed,

Set up camp in the hallow eyes of a woman who no longer believed,

And dared anyone to break in,

 

She scoffed at her fortune,

Cursed her cards

And begged to die,

 

I sat back and watched helplessly

As beauty and tragedy danced so beautifully,

She was just one of many

Victim of loves many imposters

 

Into the night she crawled,

I bowed my head,

And silently cried

 

She was not the first,

And sadly, would not be the last

 

 

Another lost,

To Loves endless counterfeits.

 

©Aisha-Nicole 2014

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#57: Toxic

 

You were toxic,

The drug I desperately needed,

 

With back chills, warm nights,

And memories etched with you,

 

You were what my body wanted,

And ultimately what killed it.

 

©Aisha-Nicole 2014

 

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#55: The Undesirables

Encased,

Trying hard to remember

What freedom smells like,

Throwing pebbles to sliver bars,

 

Humming prison tunes,

Hanging out with prison guards,

Playing spades with killers

Swapping stories with thieves

And fighting with liars,

 

Tattooing names of lovers we’ll never see,

Washing our bodies,

Yet reeking of past sins,

Praying, Even though we don’t believe

Watching yet another die for his sins,

 

We live in a penthouse of the undesirable,

Rows of rift raft,

White trash,

Sons of the ghetto,

Young and old,

Men who once knew love,

But not no more,

 

Encased,

Never to be seen again

 

And this is how the song ends.

©Aisha-Nicole 2014

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