The Road to 25…

  1. I need Jesus, I can’t do this on my own
  2. Not everyone will like you, no matter how nice you are.
  3. Repeated mistakes are the result of having no intention to stop them the first time
  4. Making time to work out is a work out
  5. Bills will come. Even if you try to ignore them
  6. ‘Unknown’ is code for bill collectors
  7. Saving isn’t a cute game, it’s critical
  8. You can’t say yes to everything
  9. It’s good to be honest
  10. Love doesn’t hurt, its people who do
  11. I need to work on my anger
  12. Family will always have your back, no matter how much you fight
  13. Stop and smell the roses, someone died last night
  14. It’s ok to say I’m broke.
  15. You don’t need lots of friends, just a core group.
  16. Make the most of family visits
  17. Do as much laundry when you visit home
  18. Don’t keep grudges, they give you ulcers
  19. Don’t jump to conclusions
  20. I’m still growing and that’s ok
  21. Don’t compare your life to others (repeat 7x a day)
  22. It’s ok to say I need help
  23. Keep insurance card IN the car
  24. Always leave early—that’s the day a funeral procession is on the road and you may be late for your interview.
  25. Every day gets better!

natural hair, twa, poetry

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#81: Unraveled.

Like re-watching a movie scene,

The revelation of the obvious,

the climax and then the fall,

The heartbreak,

and then the echo of a silenced soul

It’s an eerie feeling,

watching yourself unravel so quickly,

And to know,

exactly how the story goes.

© Aisha-Nicole 2015

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#80: Impatiently Waiting.

Standing nakedly,

 Waiting impatiently,

We’re a society bent on approval,

We imitate to impress,

Mock all forms of originality,

Speak freely, never having true meaning,

Our words get lost in news feeds about nothing,

Weigh nothing,

Mean nothing and produce nothing,

We’re a generation that knows everything,

Calloused souls with no clear answers,

Exposing one another for profit,

We’d rather die than be wrong,

Too proud to admit it and too stubborn to change it,

We’ve abandoned Humanity,

So she stands,

In open city centers,

Naked,

and impatiently waiting.

©Aisha-Nicole 2014

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#79: Trouble & Troubled.

Troubled news makes for troubled knees,

Troubled knees give way to wobbly streets,

Dark alleys lead to mischief,

And empty souls all look the same,

Trouble starts with the words you say,

And calamity is her shadow.

©Aisha-Nicole 2014

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#78: V O I D

It’s my fault,

I made you a demigod,

I expected you to eradicate the pain,

I made you more than just what you are

I sacrificed on an open altar,

Hope, dreams and what was left of a battered heart–

Desiring some sort of closure,

I pinned you to cracked walls,

And worshiped,

Day and night,

I sought an answer,

And In the end I came up with nothing,

It’s not you, it’s me—

I looked to you for something you were never able to give

©Aisha-Nicole 2014

©Aisha-Nicole 2014

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#77: It mattered then-

It mattered then-

Every last word, every sentence,

But you hesitated, mocked it and let us shatter-

Now it’s too late and you’re trying to play catch up,

Throw hundred dollar bills to the one problem you could never sold,

Trying to form a friendship with a child, who’s already grown,

I look like you, move like you,

I even stutter the very same way you do, and you think it’s pure coincidence that I cock my head to the side at every question, listening intently-

I’m splitting image of you,

Full lips,

Dark skin,

My mother genes got lost in your stubbornness,

I’m the hard knock reminder of the night you,

Should have probably thought

Through,

You were you young and defiant-

Ambitious and charming-

But my birth was a casualty,

So you zipped, up and fled the scene-

I was born to a dead father—

Loved by a struggling mother and at 33 I was introduced to you—

You look nothing like the man in my dreams, your shorter, and your ears,

Are bigger, but you look like me,

It mattered then,

To a girls who’s one request was too,

Meet her father,

But today I’m 33

And I remember I was born to a dead father, and dead you shall remain.

©Aisha-Ndlovu 2014

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#76: Do it

It’s not the amount of times you say it,

It matters,

Only when you do it

©Aisha-Nicole 2014

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#75: Dreaming Out Loud

Today marks the day I will forever refer to as D-Day. As in, the day I finally let Destiny hold my hand.

I got laid off this afternoon, and as if it were a movie scene, it was raining and I was left to gather my belongings. No hard feelings though. I wasn’t the only individual let go and it was due to circumstances beyond anyone’s control.

I shed a tear, I will not lie. Then I prayed, knelt down and thanked God for his goodness to me. This reaction completely shocked me, and had I been laid of months ago, I would have been a complete wreck.

Not today.

Today I will be thankful for the experience I gained and the friendships I made. Most of all, I will be thankful because you can never realize your destiny if you’re to comfortable with where you are.

With peace and great confidence I have to look myself in the mirror and say what I’ve been afraid to say all along.

I want to write for a living.

I want people to read my poetry and be moved and have an impact on people’s lives.

Somewhere between adolescence and adulthood, following your dream becomes frowned upon and left for those to stupid or to naive to consider the consequences. I want to know when it became stupid to dream out loud.

My birthday is next week, and I’m going to give myself the best gift of all. I’m going to let myself be me. With no hesitation, no explanation and no fear.

I have my whole life ahead of me and life is too short to live as someone else.

So three cheers to me following my dream. Someday, this post will be the introduction to a moving speech, and an award winning book. Why? because tonight I am dreaming out loud.

Aisha Nicole

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#74: And So the Story Goes

It was the way he said it,

 

Leaning in close,

I caught the faint smell of bourbon,

 

Delicately playing with the folds of my skirt,

My eyes surveyed every crevice, and every fine line from aging,

 

He was a master at games,

Growing cold,

Leaving me wandering,

Begging for more,

 

His lips teased me

And then he kissed me

 

Made me forget,

 

Made me long to be his

And only his alone,

But that was a long time ago

I was naïve and he was a master at his craft,

And so the story goes.

 

©Aisha-Nicole 2014

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#73: This Side of Me

 

 

The reality is I’m still scared,

Afraid to exhale

I’ve been fighting with years of baggage,

And I would claim it,

But that would mean owning up to past mistakes,

Lost causes,

And occasional outbreaks of low self-esteem,

I’m telling you this as you sleep,

But I want to look you in the eye,

And let you see the un-manicured side of me,

But it’s too late,

I’ve been wearing this mask for too long,

And I’m afraid it’s become a part of me.

© Aisha-Nicole 2014

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