Tag Archives: fear

My darkest Truth

I could only describe it as a chasm that kept growing,

A monster that never got fed,

A hollow hole that had no end,

 

I couldn’t shake it,

The fear that crippled me,

The constant taunting of my own soul

 

 

I cried for it to stop,

But the feeling grew stronger,

My deepest fear stood before me

Without blinking,

It started at me,

As if it knew me

 

I tried to look away,

But I couldn’t

It looked too familiar,

Like a distant person I once knew

 

Could this be an attempt to save my soul?

 

Without hesitation I ran to it,

Ran to the fear that stood before me,

I wanted to embrace it,

Desired to know it,

Perhaps then,

The feeling would subside

 

I held out my hand to touch it,

But then retreated.

 

I was in the middle of my stride when I woke up.

 

You see, even in my dreams,

I was too afraid to face the truth.

 

Aisha-Nicole 2016

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#29: American Idol and One Sketch Dude

So I’m sitting on the couch, eating some good ol’ chicken( baked not fried) I’m trying to be healthy people,  and some rice.

American Idol is on, and although I strongly believe that it should have been over a few seasons ago, the auditions are my favorite part.

While I’m eating I hear somebody by my door and like any normal person I go and see who it is. Now please note I live in an apartment building not a house. I’m not expecting anyone and I have no clue who the dude is. He looks sketch, and I continue to cautiously eye-ball him from the safety of my peep-hole. From what I could see he was by himself, but who knows. I’m a tad bit short, around the low 5s and I can’t see much. Fast forward a few minutes and dude is trying to open the door.

OMG. OMG. What do I do?!? What do I do?!?

Instantly I’m thinking of all the horror stories I’ve ever heard  that are neatly archived  in my brain. The only thing standing between me and this sketch-dude-r-us is a useless bolt and my prayers. My finger won’t stop twitching and I’m trying to text my sister. My breathing is surprisingly steady, but my heartbeat seems to be increasing as my mind kindly aids in  vivid visuals of horror stories.

Eventually the man leaves and I thank GOD!

I called the cops who didn’t do much but suggest I buy a new lock. Thanks po-po.

I believe in God and I believe prayers help and common sense. I’m getting a new lock but it was one of the worst feelings EVER. You never realize how much you want to be alive and until  the chance you might be alienated arises. As a kid my house was broken into several times and I never liked it then and I don’t like it now.

Tonight I am seriously counting my blessings. I may not have everything I want (yet) but I have my life. No need to wait until thanksgiving to be thankful.

xoxo

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